The Cricketator (Cicada)

At this time of the year in Japan, there is a little insect (About 3 to 4 cm long) that makes a huge noise and cannot usually be seen.

Now them, I have spent the last week looking covertly into trees and bushes, (I do not want to be accused of doing something dubious!) trying to find one of these noisy blighter’s and today I found one, turned tortoise on it’s back paddling fresh air.

I did not have the heart to stamp on it, (I am sure it would have made a satisfying crunch when stamped on) so I gently turned it over and instantly it started making the extremely loud cricket type clicking noise that’s started to annoy me this last week. You can potentially imagine then, what a few hundred or thousand of these little creatures clicking in unison sounds like, it’s loud, very very loud! Especially so when they are outside your hotel.

Quite an ugly looking beast and to be honest its not going to be your best friend. I spotted a few old skins of ex-Cicada and they look pretty brutal even when empty of life in a tree on Kudamatsu station.

Have a good look and see what you think!

(It's a shame it did not stay still while I was taking the pictures)

Titanic & Enterprise

A picture of the youngest, with a Lego models of the ‘Titanic & Enterprise’ he built.

The amount of bricks that goes into making a smallish model like he built is immense. It does not float either; he tried that in the bath, so once again proving the floored design of the original.

And here is a picture of the ‘Star Trek Enterprise’ he built!! That was huge too. (It did not fly either!!)

Going Nuts!!

Literally.

This shop sells good tasting nuts, not cheap but very tasty.

Pretty obvious what type of nuts they sell from the ones shown in the picture!!

Camera Land

One of many places I go to regularly, is the camera shop around the back of the hotel “Camera land”.

The owner of the camera shop has masses and masses of second hand cameras stacked up high, of all types including some very rare examples. I would love to spend a few hours in his shop but I know I would find something and I would end up buying it, so I only ever go in to say hello and give him a copy of a camera magazine I have just read and to have a cup of coffee with him.

A super bloke.

Day Colle

When I decide to watch Japanese television and after I have flicked through the many hotels piped channels, (i.e. 5!) I eventually come to the local Tokuyama television station, “Day Colle”.

I have often walked through the ‘Mini-Ginza’ and seen the outside of the studio but with no activity within. A few nights ago, to my cheery delight, the ‘local studio’ was in business, the lights were on and obvious activity was going on within.

From what I can work out, when the lights are on and the girl is not trying to smile while reading the day’s highlights, I think the filming is 'live'. I took a few pictures and the young lady was determined not to look, so I moved around the side of the studio building, as there were more glass windows to pear through, to get a better look at was going on.

I was obviously detected by one of the young chaps on the floor (He smiled at me!) and looked forward again, probably hoping that the ‘English geezer’ (Gaijin (Foreigner)) behind him, with a camera, was not about to trash their production with his huge flash gun firing off and giving a lightening show the heavens would be proud of!!!!

I did the decent thing; I turned the flashgun off and resorted to normal lighting and got a few shots, one with the girl smiling, just.

Green Tea Ice Cream!!! Double YUCK!!

A couple of nights ago, I decided to have a small tub of ice cream and since ‘Haargen Dazs’ could be considered to be one the best ‘Off the shelf’ ice cream in England, I chose a rather an obscure flavour which I should have realised before I even bought it, was going to be another one of those ‘understandable mistakes’.

Now normally I would buy ‘Cookies and Cream’ but I passed this over for “Green Tea” flavour, to try something different. Now then, I will be the first one to say that when opened it looks exactly the same as on the carton. However, I did not expect it to taste exactly like ‘green tea’ in its liquid state. To be perfectly honest, I was expecting it to be slightly less green tea flavoured than green tea or should I say ‘essence’ of green tea would have been good. So, I can definitely say, it tastes exactly as it suggest on the carton of, Green Tea, YUCK!!! (YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!)

((I do like green tea though! Quite refreshing cold on a typically stinking hot day but there again, green tea does not look like in its liquid form, anything like its semi-solid form) Visual experience, similar to well mushed or liquidised mushy peas!)

I had to have a beer to get rid of the taste!!

The Scrotometer.

If ever there was a need for a device that tested the relative humidity of the scrotum, this is it.

After spending numerous hours in an immensely hot and humid atmosphere today, inspecting bogie's and the like, it was obvious that the old Julius Marlow’s’ were in need of cooling, to keep the relative moisture content and stress levels down.

Now it is not commonly known, but friction down below, can be directly attributable to the level of moisture in the crotch, surface tension, rate of change of testicular movement, incorrectly fitting pants and misaligned nuts. These issues can quickly develop into a nasty rash that restricts movement and causes obvious discomfort, especially if you like free play in that area.

But there is a saviour at hand, “The Scrotometer”.

This handy little ingenious device sits in your skids (i.e. Underpants) with a couple of ‘crocodile’ clips attached to each gonad carrier pack. During heavy activity, the scrotometer directly measures the relative humidity of the nuts and this data can be transmitted through the latest telemetry equipment ((GSMR and GPS if your can afford it) Look for the small but Discrete flashing data transmission LED’s shining through the users trousers) to a data logger, hand held device and/or the very latest in Japanese’s technology, the 'Scrotowatch'. ((The base technology was pioneered through the one day cricket series in Australia and has moved on significantly but still delivers essential information when needed) See the “12th Man” for further information)

When the ‘Scrotometer’ is used in hand in hand with a ‘balancing pouch’, (An essential cricketers accessory that keeps the old Jacks crackers in near perfect equilibrium.) the user is offered un-paralleled protection against rough nuts. It is essential to be able to determine when the critical stress point is being approached, which can be the catalyst for the start of chaffed nuts. (Otherwise, a severe reduction in performance would be encountered.)

The combination of the Balancing pouch, the Scrotometer and a protective knacker box, is an ‘all in one’ solution and a super piece of protective equipment. (A deluxe version is also available, where each nut sits in a ‘made to measure’ soft silicon holder that already contains the humidity electrodes for that ‘bespoke’ fit!)

No pictures available. Luckily!!!

Snorkels for gerbils, You’ve got to be joking!!

While being bored out of my mind last night, I found an interesting web site.

http://www.snorkelsforgerbils.com/

I am just hoping it is pushing animal rights for Gerbils!!!

We have a couple of Gerbils at home and they are used for chewing up empty toilet and hand rolls and making loads of noise at night, its their job you know!!

I might purchase one of their ‘T’ shirts, just to wind people up!

How long would these last!!!

One last item before I hit mi pit.

How long do you think the ‘drinks machine’ would last in England before the local thugs attacked them?

Not only can you get hot and cold drinks any time of day or night but you can get alcohol too.

It’s a shame, as I really do reckon that these conveniences would do well in England, providing they were anchored down.

The ‘Ferret’ is back.

(I do not know if I like the latest nickname ("Ferret") I was given in a works meeting last week in London. I think I prefer the old one ("Disturbed Intellective") personally, especially so when it’s taken '20 years' to get used to the last one!)

Well, after spending three weeks back in England, after a week in Grenoble, (A super place, lovely people and gorgeous views, mountains that is!!) I am now back in Tokuyama, Japan.

What I was not expecting, after the bum numbing flight from England to Japan, was the heat slapping me in the face, as soon as got off one of ‘British Airways’ finest. Although I should have expected it, especially so since I was here about this time last year as well. Anyway, some “6 & bit” hours later, after getting off the plane, I am back in Tokuyama for another mind numbingly bending stay in the chemical cultural centre of Japan.

I am back in my hotel and from the solitary window in my hotel room, I have a super partial panoramic view of Tokuyama train station and the local chemical works, looks quite good at night too. However, I do intend to take the opportunity of going onto of the roof of the hotel tomorrow, to get a truly 360° view of Tokuyama and its bay, assuming I do not get pushed off the top of the hotel in the first place.

I know there is a Zoo in Tokuyama and I am thinking of going there tomorrow but I will see how the temperature goes, as it might be a bit unmanageable. 35° in the sun is not good, let alone 30° at nighttime, as it is now.

This could definitely be classed as another ‘understandable mistake’.

Now time for 'be-boes'.

Good night.